Albert Einstein
Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, if he doesn't like what you have to say, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.
Anonymous
To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.
Minna Antrim
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.
Minna Antrim
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
wait, no. im going to stop......
"at my school, we are forced to think inside the box."
-delilah s. aka, me
.....now
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Homer Simpson
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
Anonymous
(about local news) They do these teases to get you to watch late on. They're so incredibly cruel: "It could be the most deadly thing in the world and you may be having it for dinner. We'll tell you what it is tonight at 11:00."
im going to stop now.I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
Anonymous
(about local news) They do these teases to get you to watch late on. They're so incredibly cruel: "It could be the most deadly thing in the world and you may be having it for dinner. We'll tell you what it is tonight at 11:00."
Ellen DeGeneres
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Dave Barry
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
Only time can heal your broken heart just as only time can heal his arms and legs.
Miss Piggy
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Dave Barry
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
Only time can heal your broken heart just as only time can heal his arms and legs.
Miss Piggy
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
Ellen DeGeneres
"Sort of" is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of - it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like after "I love you" or "You're going to live" or "It's a boy."
Demetri Martin
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
ok, this is getting/already is, really really long.
"Sort of" is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of - it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like after "I love you" or "You're going to live" or "It's a boy."
Demetri Martin
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
ok, this is getting/already is, really really long.
wait, no. im going to stop......
"at my school, we are forced to think inside the box."
-delilah s. aka, me
.....now
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